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Donald Trump is kinda like John Lennon—John wanted peace, Don wants the Peace Prize, John had Yoko, Don has LOCO.
[Verse 1] Blew into the White House for a second term Did it with a LOCO boost Lock out Coloreds and Orientals is our creed Man, the Dems put up a dreadful fight!
[Chorus] Christ, you know it ain’t subtle You know how hard it can be The way things are going They’re gonna crucify me!
[Verse 2] Fired half the government on day one Elon’s got his chainsaw revving loud DOGE boys cutting everything that moves Man, the civil servants hit the street!
[Verse 3] ICE men kicking down the doors at dawn Loading up the buses, heading south Families torn apart in parking lots Man, the lawyers couldn’t move that fast!
[Chorus] Christ, you know it ain’t subtle You know how hard it can be The way things are going They’re gonna crucify me!
[Verse 4] Told the universities: do what we say Froze their funding, froze them in their tracks Harvard said “No deal” and took us all to court Man, the faculty were spitting mad!
[Verse 5] Slapped a tariff on the whole wide world Ninety days, a hundred-and-forty-five Markets went to hell on a Tuesday morn Man, the stock exchange just couldn’t cope!
[Chorus] Christ, you know it ain’t subtle You know how hard it can be The way things are going They’re gonna crucify me!
[Verse 6] Said he’d buy up Greenland, take the Canal Make Canada the fifty-first great state Sent the warships lurking, sent the threats by post Man, the neighbors weren’t amused at all!
[Verse 7] When the Epstein files were getting warm Bombed the Houthis, bombed them just in time Every headline buried under fire and smoke Man, the timing was a work of art!
[Verse 8] Lit up Isfahan on a Friday night Bunker busters, forty bombers deep Mullahs shut the Strait of Hormuz down Man, the tankers had nowhere to go!
Petrol hitting six bucks at the pump Lines around the block in every town Dow Jones in a spiral, gold shot through the roof Man, the working stiffs just couldn’t breathe!
[Chorus] Christ, you know it ain’t subtle You know how hard it can be The way things are going They’re gonna crucify me!
[Verse 9] Texted all his war plans to the press “Wrong number, Jeff” — Goldberg got the scoop Running Yemen airstrikes from a group chat thread Man, the Pentagon was mortified!
[Verse 10] Told Zelensky: “You’re not being nice” Pulled the intelligence, pulled the arms Sucked up to the Kremlin, called up Vlad for chats Man, the NATO allies lost their minds!
[Chorus] Christ, you know it ain’t subtle You know how hard it can be The way things are going They’re gonna crucify me!
[Verse 11] Judges saying “No” from coast to coast Fired the ones he couldn’t stand to keep Said the Constitution’s just a point of view Man, the legal scholars hit the roof!
[Verse 12] Elon’s numbers cratered, Tesla burning down DOGE boys stumbling, tripping on their feet Twenty trillion promised, billions hard to find Man, the X posts were a sorry sight!
[Chorus] Christ, you know it ain’t subtle You know how hard it can be The way things are going They’re gonna crucify me!
[Verse 13] Every night a rally, every night a show Waving fists and pointing at the crowd “They are eating dogs!” and “Lock them all away!” Man, the base just couldn’t get enough!
[Verse 14] So here we are two years into the ride Chaos reigns from Mar-a-Lago south Don and LOCO riding off into the sun Man, the history books won’t know where to start!
[Final Chorus] Christ, you know it ain’t subtle You know how hard it can be The way things are going They’re gonna crucify me!
[Outro — spoken, deadpan, no reverb] “They’re saying it’s the greatest presidency ever. Tremendous. Nobody’s ever seen anything like it. Believe me.”
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