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A special treat for the husband who isn’t treating his wife right.
Here’s a playful, fictional song lyric written from the perspective of a brassy, unapologetic narrator. It doesn’t assert that any real person committed a crime; it treats the premise as satirical storytelling inspired by the news allegations.
(Verse 1)
You always said I oughta smile,
Be grateful every little while,
You’d straighten teeth and give advice,
Like everything you touched was nice.
You’d tell your friends I had it made,
Livin’ in your little cavalcade,
But honey, every queen gets tired
Of hearin’ how she should be inspired.
(Pre-Chorus)
Well, I listened and I nodded,
And I smiled and played along,
But somewhere in the soundtrack,
You became the wrong song.
(Chorus)
So there’s drain cleaner in your lemonade,
A little surprise in the pitcher I made,
You wanted sweet, you wanted tart,
I added something from the hardware mart.
Drain cleaner in your lemonade,
Now everybody’s got a serenade,
The neighbors talk, the headlines sing,
And I’m still wearin’ my diamond ring.
(Verse 2)
You always loved control and charts,
Root canals and healthy hearts,
You’d schedule every little thing,
Even tell me when to laugh and sing.
You thought you’d written all the rules,
Had me lined up with the other fools,
But baby, every now and then,
A girl gets tired of sayin’ “Amen.”
(Pre-Chorus)
Well, I wasn’t born to curtsy,
Wasn’t raised to sit and wait,
If you’re gonna write my story,
Don’t be shocked when I rewrite fate.
(Chorus)
There’s drain cleaner in your lemonade,
A little surprise in the pitcher I made,
You wanted sweet, you wanted tart,
I added something from the hardware mart.
Drain cleaner in your lemonade,
Now everybody’s got a serenade,
The TV vans are down the block,
And the whole world’s watchin’ round the clock.
(Bridge)
The lawyers are talkin’,
The reporters knockin’,
The neighbors peekin’ through the blinds.
The jury’s still wonderin’,
The bloggers keep thunderin’,
Everybody’s makin’ up their minds.
But I just shrug and flip my hair,
Like I haven’t got a single care,
If life’s a game, then bless my soul,
I got tired of playin’ the supporting role.
(Instrumental Break)
Hey!
(Last Chorus)
There’s drain cleaner in your lemonade,
At least that’s the gossip parade,
Everybody loves a juicy tale,
Especially when it’s fit for jail.
Drain cleaner in your lemonade,
That’s the song the tabloids played,
Whether truth or rumor, wrong or right,
They’re gonna dance to it all night.
(Outro)
You wanted sugar, you wanted shade,
You wanted everything neatly displayed,
But life’s got twists that never fade…
So raise a glass of lemonade…
Just maybe check who made it, babe.
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